The BIONICLE Autopsy

2015-01-06 15:37:58 by Doomroar

With the expectations lowered, and all the cards on the table, there's no excuse to say anything as far as a fan and a consumer of this franchise goes, the question still remains how much of the old Bionicle this new has, and where it may go? only lego knows.

Well at least there's no more Hero Factory, sorry kids, but you are actually getting an upgrade even if is simpler than the original.


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nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-08 00:52:13

Let go, it's over..
Lego.. it's over!
Le-Gi-Oh.

Bionicle is back, and this time it's poyysonal! *Said the New Yorker*

Doomroar responds:

Its ttttttime to du-du-du-duel!


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-08 01:08:30

I wonder if Toys R. Us will buy the stock? Course they will! They'll buy the lot!! And then people will come in droves and buy the products for their tots! And start a whole cycle of Bionicle fans, hold their hands for 10 years then desert them man. Then they will say why was Bionicle cancelled? Like sound-cancelling headphones. And the next generation will come along and say, "hey, Bionicle, that looks good!" I think I'll follow that!

A man from Lego suddenly gave a little wink into the camera and uttered the immortal words.

"Time to oil the plastic again!"

Doomroar responds:

Is all about business modeling.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-09 20:06:19

Or businesswomen modelling for Lego. A new type of advertising. Lego Babes with real Bionipples.

Doomroar responds:

Fans have actually made similar things in the past, it was surprisingly sexy...


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-10 06:16:47

It's what is known as getting your lego over. But how can you jerk to plastic boobs!

To be fair, most of today's women have got plastic boobs.

Doomroar responds:

It comes as natural now.
Jerking off to plastic boobs i mean...


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-10 15:09:11

Plasticated spastication, a whole agitated nation of tits being worshipped like adulation, had the whole nation under their thrall, or squeezing their balls. Slapping their flapping hanging bits, fapping until the natural leakage of sap begins to happen.

Doomroar responds:

Then Karl came to power.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-17 08:42:17

Karl's Dynasty. Those Cum Passes solved the world population problem.

Doomroar responds:

And suddenly the youth population became extinct worldwide.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-17 12:59:19

The elderly, they just received Gum Passes. The only problem is that when the Gum Passes were being handed out, the IBA dressed up as an old man and acquired one of them. This gave him the free reign to utilise his hair-removal gum campaign.

Doomroar responds:

A revolution was starting soon Karl's rule would end.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-18 17:18:57

The Dicktator would be topplied and soon the seeds would spill in mass force.

Doomroar responds:

Bring forth a new age of widespread agriculture.
That day genetic widespread food manufactures went bankrupt, it was the last we see of Monsanto.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-23 09:46:09

And who else but Simon da Motivator da Second would inherit this agricultural empire. Little did they know that he wanted it to build a Beanstalk Space Elevator.

Things got weirder when Monsanto was hit by a Monsoon of acid rain and needles from the sky.

Doomroar responds:

It would even have some peculiar magnetic properties that attracted space needles.

Clearly they didn't had a giant beanstalk space elevator to protect themselves from the rain of needles.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-01-29 14:57:45

They were getting attacked by the needles with pinpoint accuracy. The Great Needle Massacre wasn't great. It was needless in fact, but the mass casualties meant that Simon da Motivator could plan his revolutionary new ideas without distraction.

After Monsanto's demise. Simon decided to rename his empire to Mansento. Implying that one day, he would succeed in sending a man into space to investigate.

Until then, he could keep on raking in funds from his marajuana allotment.

Doomroar responds:

He called it a marijuana allotment, but in reality Simon was working on a new species of herbal narcotic upon request by Simon da Motivator da Second.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-03 20:37:36

An herbal narcotic that would be used across the world, for as of yet, unknown purposes.

Doomroar responds:

Surely it would have nothing to do with the motivational industry, brainwashing and manipulation.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-12 12:41:35

It's time to redu-du-du-ceee- reduce the prices. They can't expect people to keep paying this kind of money for rehashed Lego.

"But Dave, they are paying this kind of money!"
"In that case Russell, let's put the prices up some more!"

Doomroar responds:

No... i can't deal with the price going up again, i am at least considering only getting one protector and master, maybe one or 2 skull warriors, this is discouraging the consumer!


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-12 12:53:52

Great, now all the new comments are at the bottom of the page rather than the top.

What other austerity measures is Tom going to make? 25 character limit conces

Doomroar responds:

I don't know my good man, i stopped caring the week after i lost my scouting privileges, now i feel like i can take whatever change this page bring, except a paid subscription...


S3CS3C

2015-02-13 01:36:22

Umm legos needs to stay as cookie cutter building blocks in the real world, simple as that. Did you ever use lego robotics in your engineering courses

Doomroar responds:

But then a part of my childhood wouldn't exist if they hadn't go beyond cookie cutter building blocks.
Nope.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-13 02:43:49

A paid subscription, that would really be the icing on the cake. I can see the slogans already...

If you don't have the cash, you wont get the Flash.

Doomroar responds:

The FAQ section also clarifies that they also charge for unity, html, mp3, mp4, a variety of image file formats, and textual media at large.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-14 01:08:32

And really unintelligible CAPTCHA's that you have to get correct before you can submit a new comment.

Doomroar responds:

And it gives you an error message even when you get it right.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-15 00:16:01

CAN'T READ THE CAPTCHA?

Refresh to get a new CAPTCHA code. Or how about listening to a recording of the code?

*five minutes later*

Punches in code.

THE CAPTCHA YOU HAVE ENTERED IS INCORRECT.

Arghhhhh fuckkk!!

Doomroar responds:

Every single fucking time!


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-16 02:25:28

The CAPTCHAs that just wanted to capture your attention. In time, we will have super CAPTCHAs, 32-digit codes that are extremely unintelligible and even the listening version of the code is ridiculously muffled.

You gotta earn da right to dat membership, man.

Doomroar responds:

Work it until you pop it.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-16 19:46:15

Not only a wrong captcha, but the entire registration form fields mysteriously emptying so that you have to enter all the information again.

Doomroar responds:

Is not worth the comment.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-17 02:19:46

Time for a new wave comment straight off the streets of Tim Healy... Time is a healer, or is it? 31 years of time has elapsed and I still feel more chronically fucked up than a Big Brother contestant. We don't want to contest anything except your will and get free handouts like 3 hands all slapping your asscheeks fast to the beat of Rondo Alla Turca by Mozart. Don't start Nietz! Mozart wasn't on prozac, and Plato didn't die having had a bird egg smack him on the head. You'd be put in a straitjacket and on meds for spinning those type of webs. But he thought FUCKKIT, but who wants to Fuck IT? That clown is one dangerous bastard, he'll bite your cock off... And that's just Tim Curry! *Sting effect* Guess who's back with death and decay where not even a mint will take your bad breath away, you can't knock down this unstoppable Berlin wall of hate... Hate? We've Berli even scratched the surface... of this scratch card... At least its not void like the Volga trade route during a war... I Joke I Keed. I need keeping in check. Or failing that, a Czech salt mine where I quickly snag a rifle and assault nine of the guards then phone their partners to say their husbands wont be coming home... All these damn trag ads being broadcast by the sexy Broads whose frequent haunts are the Somalian boats at sea... This is how Me. We. Supposed to Be. Sexy like Mei from The Shanghai Factor, with different methods of cock teasing until my Mandarin is perfik. Its Mandatory to learn it. Characters, tones, radicals, until maniacal laughter fills the psychiatric mental hospital halls with fear... time for a chocolate milkshake to pass the time, drinking it I mean... The milk is visibly shaken, but there is no use crying over spilt.... semenenenenenenen. Infinite sperm all being injected permanently into Kim Kardashian's behind... w0-0t w0-0t, getting my reading glasses or failing that, my reading patches.. these patches are shit, they are not a patch on my other patches which could see through See-thru walls... But so could everyone else's eyesight, we weren't alone in this voyage of visiting the hoola hoop champion -- Cthulhu... In fact we had to curtail his hoola hooping activities and send him to the bottom of the ocean to build up his hate points... Boo Yah! 50 Shades of Grade A Material said the biased school teacher who was having an affair with a male pupil... He was 27 and a half years old though, so totally legal.. except in Texas! Oh. No. He. Dinn. Hey! How come my chocolate milkshake tastes like a sweaty sock. "How would you know Nietz? Go around tasting sweaty socks often eh?" -- "Well, yeah, its my job, a sock-tasting critic." The role I was born to play, like Bloodborne, I'd rather play Uncharted 4 and complete it in the space of 15 continuous hours without stopping except for one 14 and a half hour banquet... Now I'm the cunt that charted his own downfall by only dedicating 30 minutes to the game! It will never get completed unless I watch somebody else complete it on Live Playstation. But isn't that cheating? A big fat resounding chyea. Why would EA Sports go to China? To sell their shoddy products? He. Hates. Sports. He's into Porn. Why all the fuss over the 50 Shades of Grey film? What about The 50 Shades of Hades by Martin Demise that didn't even get finished and had to be cut during development. You're losing it man, getting angry at Martin isn't gonna pay off that 250,000 debt of yours... Wha? I don't have a quarter of a million pound debt! Now mild parannoying is kicking in like a giant Wicker Man with a Flickr photo collection of him burning...... His photo collection. Full circle. Half shilling, unbalanced mind, but its all for a good cause.

Come with me as we head into another Lady Dimension, did I mention that Lady died in a Paris tunnel... of love? The woyyyld is full of mishaps and unfortuNate Dogg circumstances... Fate can dole out a cruel hand, by forcing you to eat Dole food. Just imagine man, having to spend the remainder of your days eating Dole Food, it would certainly be a cruelty you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Like a lovechild of Ron Howard and Benny Hill. They were both drunk on Henny and none of them picked up the bill. Bill was too heavy, like a pair of Levi jeans weighted down by Eugene Levy. How can I survive inside of an enviro, ment that's so dysfunctional to the point that it doesn't function at all. Suck my all-wet ball sweat because there is no other better alternatives, other than natives that are just learning to be altars. But they are better off staying in the jungle than joining the corrupt churches, because they've got fucked up urges. Time for castration surgery. "I'm your doctor, you have no need to be scared of me." My name is Dr. Philip Gasket. Don't believe me? Here is my crystal 8-ball, ask it." Forget that, like Hamnesia Radio chocolate spread mixed with apples and apricots and Frazer McDougal's false teeth that were stolen from the Golem with swollen testicles.

Doomroar responds:

31 years is a lot of time, and yet it is no time at all, age doesn't matter after you hit 18, or 21 depends of the law.

Oh evil, personally calling the widows, such talent, anger is a gift so it seems.

Not any kind of sock-tasting critic, an international sock-tasting critic! he operates from Blackburn, all the way to Shanghai.

As i understand it, at i probably don't understand it (mostly because i don't care), some people (probably a minority) are pissed at least because the book depicts an abusive relationship of control and oppression, but tries to pass it as some kind of BDSM play, while it oppress women and misrepresents sexual practices at the same time, anyway it is just glorified porn, shame to all the readers and viewers.

Aight i will forget that, all of it, specially the part about the golem with swollen testicles.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-18 16:19:04

I feel older than the Ark of the Covenant. Maybe it's just the winter blues or seasonal affective disorder. After 30, it's all... uphill! ...... Numerically!

Calling the widows does seem a bit harsh. Reminds me of the first Austin Powers film when one of Dr Evil's henchmen got hit with a steamroller and they had to call his family and friends to break the bad news.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4UFQWKjy_I

From the west to the east, there is no sock he wont taste. Even the Empire of Socks. And if there are critics of my sock-tasting criticism, then I will just sock it to them.

I don't have a problem with Beady eye SM content, but it's just that the story from 50 Shades seems so corny and stereotyped. Maybe it's just the fact that Hollywood decided to remake the film which just adds to the corniness.

Doomroar responds:

That's right Mr Nietz, keep those positive points rolling!

Haha yeah, but one think is informing the family that an event unrelated to yourself at the company happened, and another that you directly went and mercilessly killed the husband, and now you are calling just the spit on the family, now dats some evil.

Gag them with some low quality socks.

Meh, it is just porn, if it has any kind of influence on people besides sexual arousal they deserve to be pimp slapped and then be put under confinement, isolated from the rest of the world.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-20 00:56:53

I always see the glass as half full...... of cyanide tablets! The positivity comes from not taking them in these bleak, eerie times.

But if you read the small print, you'll see that I said 'assault' nine of the guards, which could imply I only injured them. And the possible reason they weren't coming home to their wives is because they were still suffering the effects of concussion and were being checked out in the hospital and wouldn't be home until the following day.

They weren't though. I did kill them, all nine of them. After watching a comedy film. Who would have thought that comedy would breed such violence?

Terrified dude: "What are you gonna do, Nietzlawe?"
Nietzlawe: "I'm gonna gag ya. But we're not gonna use these brand new bamboo socks. Oh no, we're gonna use these crusty old nicotine coloured socks that my Grandad wore in the wear. Take a deep breath now!"
Terrified dude: *Starts yelling* "NO! NO! NOOO!" like the steamroller guy even though I am holding the socks about 15 metres away from him." Eventually I have to phone his wife and say he wont be coming home. My fucking phone bill will be sky high!

Those people deserve to be slapped by pimps and pimps deserve to be slapped by cuffs. In fact they deserve each other. 50 Shades of Grave Injustice.

Doomroar responds:

Saving them for later, what a great inversion, hope they sell well.
"I don't think people will buy second hand cyanide tablets"
"Shh he will hear!"

Oh so they were not lethally wounded, just mortally fucked up in the sides, which is worse.

Bad international call's plan in Shanghai i see.

Getting kinky on prison - steamy nights behind bars edition, or 50 shades of dropping the soap.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-20 01:22:52

Paul Foot:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J780xuR6KTY

Doomroar responds:

Wonderful use of formal logic to demonstrate how the value of a penis is entirely dependent on the use that it is given to it.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-20 20:31:52

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksAloim96to

Doomroar responds:

What it doesn't even has porn on it? lame.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-22 08:04:50

This completes the triple whammy of Youtube links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrGLTbFOOgE

Doomroar responds:

Good lord i don't get this gentleman's sense of humor, good lord... but something is certain, good lord, he would starve working as a stripper, good lord.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-23 14:01:34

Second hand Cyanide tablets. Regurgitated by Hitler.

Their sides were splitting... with laughter. Now that's what I call comedy violence.

Sky High from all the calls to Shanghai, selling Shang Socks and Shang Ties.

50 Shades of Dropping the Soap, which is a soap opera in itself.

Paul Foot certainly did work magic on that chalkboard. I've seen him come out with some really odd things on panel shows.

Good lord, this guy says good lord an awful lot. That I didn't good lord it until you good lord pointed it out to good lord me. Good lord.

Doomroar responds:

It has that Arian supremacy saliva still lingering on them, call now!

Each time he gets on the mike he kills the whole show, audience, and theatre.

Yet all the money made is gone just on phone bills.

Broadway, home of erotic gay entertainment.

Odd? how come, his mastery of logic should make anything seem as a normal conclusion to a chain of events.

Good lord, he good lord sure good lord does, good lord.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-26 22:21:02

Arianide tablets. Bidding ends in 13 hours 12 minutes 31 seconds.

They shouldn't be called cyanide tablets. They should be called cya later! tablets.

Every single time he climbs on top of Mike, Mike turns into a rampaging bull and together they end up bulldozing and goring every single audience member.

I have a couple uppers, I have a couple downers, but nothing compares to these motherfucking sky high bills! I been on Shanghai outings, with all these socks I'm touting, but nothing compares to these motherfucking sky high bills.

Go to Broadway, to watch Brad and his bro swing both ways.

Paul Foot has a Twitter page it seems: https://twitter.com/paulfoot

Good lord he good lord he good lord he good lord he good lord.

Doomroar responds:

And time's up, lets see how this went...

AKA: If i survive tablets.

Mike is a transformer, not a very well known one, his dream is to appear in one of the movies one day.

Cool, calm, just like your... na i am sure i don't know your mom, who was that lady then? mmh she calls herself Mrs. Mischief.

Nah they say they will put it on tv eventually.

On the latest news he got a new cut.

Good lord, so good lord much good lord goodlording good lord.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-02-28 17:57:08

And the winning bid came from Hitlerlolol94. What if Hitler took the cyanide tablets and his loyal army didn't want him to die, so they rushed him to the medical room and pumped his stomach, forcing him to regurgitate the tablets before bottling them. Hitler survives, and years later he makes an ebay account under the psuedonym Hitlerlolol94 in order to buy back his own tablets for an as of yet unknown reason.

At least Mike is a transformer and not a transvestite. There has been too many transvestites appearing as of late. But I wont be surprised if one pops up again soon.

Apparently, Mrs. Mischief has a trick up her sleeve. I think it's just a handkerchief that belongs to her husband Mr. Mischief.

They will put the gay Broadway show on tv?! TV as in transvestite!?!?! Dammit, I knew a transvestite-related scenario would turn up sooner or later.

Good Lord it's Paul Foot!

Doomroar responds:

Failing to become a painter left him with a lifelong lasting case of depression, then failing to win the war just caused him some suicidal tendencies, now he has an estrange obsession with some very specific cyanide tablets, life on Argentina doesn't seems to be helping Hitlerlolol94's emotional situation.

Mike finally got an opportunity to appear on a transformers movie, his role was as "Mike the Rampaging Bull" in his particular scene he had to rampage through the scenery of a Broadway soap opera TV filming set, but since it was filed with transvestites the conservative party censored his part, and to this day Mike has yet to make his movie debut.

Some one call the cihef, i think that handkerchief still has some of those shrooms make me hallucinate.

But it had to be cancelled after Mike the Rampaging Bull ruined the whole set.

Good Lord!


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-03-06 06:52:07

His objective was to build a new army, this time compromised of Argentinians instead of Germans. He wanted the regurgitated cyanide tablets because ultimately... he is fucking insane! What use could he possibly have for some mangled up pills? Unless they just hold sentimental value to him. He should try the new Siamide tablets, directly imported from Siam, they are not fatal, but give you a hegal high. Apparently Will si am and the musician Sia have purchased some.

Mike was gutted, he had always wanted to ride the Trans International Freight Bull through a crowd of crossdressers. In fact it made him more cross than them!

Mr Handker the Christmas Chief arrived on the scene after being called. He wanted to know who had brought shrooms into the company office. He totally lost his cool when he spotted Vanilla Ice trying to rap again.

Mike had to inform everybody that the scene had been called, so for a while he became Mike the Paging Bull.

Lud Gord!

Doomroar responds:

He was clinging to the belief that some near-dead experience or getting really high would ultimately open the doors to his inner artistic talents and to world domination, it didn't happen, and he died of over dose.

Failing to become a transforming robot actor, Mike compromised and started a career making cross sections of animals, selling them at insane prices as pop art to a bunch of suckers, his transforming abilities allowed him to add a performance art element to the whole exhibition.

He was so mad that he told everyone to bounce, bounce, come on bounce, at that moment he spread fire everyone with a machine-gun, "i said come on bounce" he screamed, then he demanded for coke and forced the dumb asses to sit down... people didn't know if they should bounce or sit.

His phone bill was skyrocketing.

Dull Drugs!


themightyCaolfthemightyCaolf

2015-03-07 22:35:23

legos, never had the luxury, any who, thought id let you know im making a mascot

Doomroar responds:

Well take good care of that mascot, Jessica.


RiverofBloodyTears2RiverofBloodyTears2

2015-03-13 14:15:44

BRING GHANDI BACK

(Updated ) Doomroar responds:

He is too far gone the hook doesn't reach...


themightyCaolfthemightyCaolf

2015-03-20 01:13:11

Hmmm I should draw a bionicle, practice my detailing and such, any suggestions?

Doomroar responds:

I don't know man, i have a childhood attachment to this franchise and if possible i want it to remain pure even in fan art, and since you are saying you will become a hentai artist and all that... but, if it has to happen, draw Roodaka, i had a crush on her.

Now maybe you were not talking about hentai, in that case if it is not hentai draw The Kardas Dragon, if and only if, it is not hentai.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-03-21 22:40:40

Died of an overdose eh, it could have been worse, he could have died of an underdose. Just imagine how humiliating that must be.

His phone bill was higher than a.... wait for it! a... a...... Cloud. "Oh, that was uninspiring."

Good Lord it's Action Bronson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HIuN5lxMCI
Failing to become a transforming robot actor, Mike compromised and started a career making cross sections of animals, selling them at insane prices as pop art to a bunch of suckers, his transforming abilities allowed him to add a performance art element to the whole exhibition.

He was so mad that he told everyone to bounce, bounce, come on bounce, at that moment he spread fire everyone with a machine-gun, "i said come on bounce" he screamed, then he demanded for coke and forced the dumb asses to sit down... people didn't know if they should bounce or sit.

Doomroar responds:

Certainly it would been an underwhelming end.

I... i have nothing to say, that was really uninspiring.

Good lord are good lord we good lord goodlording again? good lord?

Those words did seem familiar...


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-03-21 22:43:08

^^^^^^ An example of what happens when somebody changes the NG comment system.

Let this be a lesson kids. Life is no game.

*Really awkward cough*

Doomroar responds:

It all makes sense now!


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-03-22 01:34:02

Or even an overwhelming beginning. This oppositism is getting out of hand, like a slippery penis.

People were expecting something witty, like a phone bill higher than a drug addict standing on top of the Empire State Building, but all they got was a damn cloud. But still, that cloud is very high, so the punchline worked. "So now who is laughing, Graham!"

May the Good Lord have mercy on Good Lord us all. Good Lordy whoadie, you must be gone off that water bottle.

"It all makes sense now, Clarice!"
"W-w-what?!?!?!"
"Sit back Clarice, this wont hurt a bit."

Doomroar responds:

Too much lotion.

Graham was under the effects of food coma, unable to answer to the inquiries launched at his unconscious self.

Good lord! a bottle, good lord, made out of, good lord, water!!!? good lord?

"... Clarice, it slipped in so easily..."
"T-t-that's because, i am so aroused."
"Clarice, you lied to me you are no virgin at all!"
"That's not true! you just have a small penis! of course it wont hurt, and of-fucking-course that it slipped in easily!"


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-03-24 23:26:40

Too much lotion in the bucket, which is strange considering she's unlikely to get a sun tan down this dark dank hole.

It makes sense, GraHAM has ever got food as part of his name. He is well induced and there is no way out now. Except through the soup kitchen, which is counterproductive.

Good lord the good lords have gone bad. In a kind of When Good Girls Go Bad kind of way.

"Clarice, you are slacker than a yokel's jaw."
"I'm.. I... But I have only slept with 700 men, including a 7-foot tranny."
"Shit, now I'll have to get checked out for diseases!"
"Well, like I said, it would have been much easier if you had put the lotion in my mouth instead of my ass."

Doomroar responds:

She uses led lights that come from one of those shining dildos, for inner tanning they say.

Graham Kitshensoupen, his whole life as a chef was counterproductive, he has a tendency to eat his own dishes and then pass out, yet sheer talent keeps him in business, all thanks to those rare occasions when he actually makes so much food that even his customers get something to eat.

So Good ladies go bad?

"Clarice this was supposed to be our first time doing anal, it was supposed to be special..."
"More like YOUR first time doing anal"
"So you are not even going to deny that you are loose?"
"Oh hell no! you still have a small dick"
"Oh and i suppose you are an expert on dick measurement now!"
"I told you, i am a good lady that went bad long ago"


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-03-26 15:28:05

But what happens when the led lights run out? Does she have to sacrifice lotion for batteries? Or does she negotiate for some ben wa balls?

Graham's kitsch name sounds a little bit German. He probably adds too many chiies, the silly billy, either that or he makes so much food that he's overworked and suffering from burnout. "Got to keep the customers in their food comas," he mumbled to himself as he was preparing the banquet. But why? Why would Graham want to keep his customers addicted and always seeking more food. Food that didn't even exist. Essentially just food gas. Suddenly, a shadow appeared in the doorway of the kitchen...

"You finished preparing the banquet, Graham?"
"Yes Sir, 16 portions of food gas just like you required!"

The man suddenly walked into the kitchen, towards Graham. Cigar in hand, wearing a long brown trenchcoat. And he then let out a small laugh.

"It's been a long time, Graham."
"It certainly has...... Jon. People have been thinking you were dead."
"Nah, I had to lay low after that whole Antarctica Isles affair. Do you want to know what I filmed on that video?"
"Yes, if you're willing to tell..."
"I heard something in the sky. A song. It reached out to me. Told me to get as much gas together as I could muster. But not mustard gas. Or ketchup gas. Food gas, we had to induce the population, that's what the song in the sky told me. Get the gas."

(Updated ) Doomroar responds:

When the lewd lights run out, the wa balls run-in... in the darkness.

"As long as i get paid i will keep making this gas, so wheres the dough?"
Jon Walter puts a heavy suitcase on the table.
"Here it is: 16 gold bars and 16 stock bank notes each one for 3% of the stocks of the new heavyweight Nepalese-based food company and agricultural giant, Motivating Co."
"Say just what do you plan to do with all this food gas?"
"Mr. Kitshensoupen, whatever purpose this gas may serve, only the song knows, i just follow the lyrics."
The sudden change of tone of Jon Walter made Graham notice that this could be bigger than just a mere food scam business.
"Lyrics? we have a particular tune that accompanies food gas, but it is just an acoustic buzz..."
"Yeah that thing you play on the restaurant to accompany the food gas, it can't even compare to the song in the sky."


themightyCaolfthemightyCaolf

2015-04-05 17:19:48

you and nietzlawes back and fourth is... complexing.

Doomroar responds:

We have some time on this, and the stories mix each other some characters appear, but it is all part of a big story, well not always but eventually everything seems to merge, it doesn't even makes sense to us!
We even made a wiki about it, and it should one day leave its status as a work in progress, it is due for 5069 galactic time.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-04-08 20:34:40

Ben castrated himself and put the testicles into the bucket and he was screaming wahhh during the process! Hence the name Ben Wahhh Balls. In addition, Ben was forced to pop Puffalo Pills, they were like a more effective antiandrogen and started to transform him into Buffalo Bill. That's how it all began. This was long before the days of tucking his genitalia between his legs to make them invisible to the naked eye. Now his naked eye was in the bucket, making it's way down to Clarice.

"What's the song in the sky, Jon?"
"Don't ask questions Mr. Kitshensoupen, just do the job that I pay you to do. Any more questions and I'll introduce you to Jeeves. He doesn't like people intruding in our business. Jeeves suffers with gigantism you know. A very frightening man, he moves with the dexterity of a stop motion dinosaur. People have died of fright just being in the same room as him. It's the way he moves and his height, very jagged, very startling. He keeps a GLKD (Gum-Lined Knuckle-Duster). Likes to punch people in the face with it, then tear off skin in perfectly measured strips."
"I'm sorry, Jon. I'll keep my mouth shut!"
"You know nothing about the song in the sky. If anybody asks.. you are just a chef, you make food, that's all!"
As Jon Walter leaves the room, Mr. Kitshensoupen realises that amongst the gold bars and stock bank notes, there is a document. A document that was not meant to be there. The headline read, Motivating Co. The name at the bottom was weird... The letter appeared to be addressed to a man by the name of Simon da Motivator da eighth.

It's true that Doomroar and Me created a Wikia to stockpile the info from a mile of blogs. We're getting by with our Wiki ways! We're loading up and we're taking names!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o0LhHIFtTc

Doomroar responds:

Shit man, din't know that he had such a twisted past, it is up there with TWO, so how did he actually end with Clarice?

"Simon da Motivator... da eight?" - Graham pondered to himself.
"But there are only 3 Simon's da Motivators, who could this be, a distant relative? an illegitimate child?"
Graham was digging too much into a thing that could very well kill him.
"This is troublesome, Motivating Co is at its core a family ran company, if relatives start appearing out of nowhere the stocks could be heavily affected."
At that moment Graham remembered Jon's words.
"Wait... so Jon has a connection with Jeeves? could it be THAT Jeeves!?"
Upon this realization Graham rushed out of the restaurant chasing after Jon, but alas it was too late, Jon was nowhere to be seen.

Damn straight, and we didn't even had to dig our ways to hell, we were dragged there... by our selves!


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-04-17 00:40:47

Benjamin Sinclair. Started his young career as a magician in the Magic Circle. Life was beautiful, he had the world at his feet (not literally) and the world was his oyster (again, not literally). But one night during a live stage performance, the sawing a woman in half trick went drastically wrong. After accidentally decapitating her, he ran back to the dressing room crying and drank tons of caffeinated Casino Cola. The mystery ingredient of the drink this time was blended teeth. Infuriated he ran out onto the street, and kidnapped a random passer-by. A woman by the name of Clarice. He took her back to his apartment and placed her down a well, then popped around 12 Puffalo Pills, his breasts were really starting to take shape. But to become a true woman he had to go the full hog, he had to perform a castration on himself. He could have paid Cassandra Stration and Sir. John to perform the op, but they were charging a king's ransom right now. So he took matters into his own hands, and by 'matters' I mean a bloody and bleeding penis. Despite the anguish he was feeling, he threw the member into a bucket and sent it on its merry way down to the waiting Clarice. "Ooh, I wonder what he is going to give me this tim.... OH MY FUCKING GAWD, GET THAT THING OUT OF HERE!" But it was too late, she was stuck, with only a severed penis for company. So she did the only thing she could. She drew a face on it and gave it a name. - Stumpy. To make matters worse, the penis came to life and started talking to her. To this day, nobody knows how that penis suddenly developed a life of it's own. Something to do with Benjamin Sinclair sleeping with a woman that had been infected by the SCI-I incident

Simon da Motivator da Eighth. Somme Say started to spread a little rumour that the Simon da Motivator brothers were actually octuplets conceived via vitro fertilisation. Groomed before they were even born, the SdM Collective were destined for great things. Each one of them created for a specific purpose. But nobody knew what Simon da Motivator da Eighth's true purpose in life was. Somme Say he couldn't even tell you himself what his destiny was. But I heard he was still bitter about being named as the last Octuplet, he feels like the Black Sheep of the family. Maybe that was it, his purpose, to run a farm and raise his own army of Black Sheep.

Graham carried on pondering for a little while before continuing to cut the celery. A lapse in concentration led to him accidentally chopping off his own finger. But he didn't scream. In fact, he felt no pain at all, which was weird.

Yes it's THAT Jeeves! The One and Only. A man with gigantism singing a Bon Jovi song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjqb3AKndYc

Jon, the Grand Master of the disappearing act. As far as the world knew, he was dead... Dead set against faking his death!!

Dragged to hell by ourselves? HELL YEAH we were!!

Doomroar responds:

This guy became way too fast on WCCS's version of Buffalo Bill, and well, when disembodied penises start talking to you, i guess you are officially crazy.

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/2d00f57016ed39764677b1f24d1ecf2e

Well shit, it seems it is real, Monthly Not Fake, never makes fake reports.

Simon da Motivator da Eight knew so little about himself, he didn't even knew if he really was a Motivator, so he continued making his purposeless army of Black Sheep, he didn't even knew what to do with all those sheep he was hording, and the numbers keep growing.

With Jon presumably death, and Jeeves location unknown Graham found himself stuck with no clues, and with no finger.
"Wait, no finger?" asked Graham to himself.
As he did a sudden rush of pain climbed from his hand to his arm, shoulder, to the spine passing his foramen magnum through his spinal cord, penetrating all the way to his thalamus.
"Ouch" he said, "I better go to a hospital".


themightyCaolfthemightyCaolf

2015-04-23 01:16:45

Can you see the 2 new pictures i posted?

Doomroar responds:

Eventually, i am on a quite busy time, i will get to them and give them the replies they deserve, but not the ones they need, actually they wont even be the ones they deserve, they probably will be sloppy and choppy and droopy.


themightyCaolfthemightyCaolf

2015-04-23 19:33:29

Thnx man, the reason I was asking is because I had 7 views but no comments. Plus the fact that I need my pimp to give me advice. Lol

(Updated ) Doomroar responds:

Finally you are starting to reel in dem customers!
With some push here and there, and lots of goat based yogurt you will be able to upgrade into independent manwhore.


RiverofBloodyTears2RiverofBloodyTears2

2015-04-28 16:12:15

FIGHT THE FIGHT 2015


themightyCaolfthemightyCaolf

2015-05-01 15:41:59

What's the lost castle crashers song about?

Doomroar responds:

A basic question, yet the answer is as complex as wondering what really is reality.
-Or better said, i guess we only know that it exist, or does it?
-Well i guess you can hear the song, or are you just imagining it, can you really hear it, is it even a song?
-Man Which Castle Crashers Song is that supposed to be anyways!?

Oh, the "LOST" Castle Crashers song? the lost one was already found years ago by Random Kid, it was on his desk all along, indeed he found it just minutes after losing it, Real Faction http://realfaction.newgrounds.com/ hide it on purpose because people keep telling him that this song http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/120136 is still the best song he ever made, even after all his years of improvement, it was just a fit of rage, so after hiding it he put it back there, after finding the lost castle crashers song, Random Kid apologized to Real Faction and promised to recognize his artistic progress.

Now the WCCS, that's a whole different story, we don't even know which one is it, or is it even... a Castle Crashers Song to begin with!? damn... but it sure does sound similar, can you hear it, the dementia of this tune constantly, never-ending echoing in your cranium!? of course not, by now we all know that thing, is like white noise, like the fact that your eyes constantly look at your nose but your brain just removes the image amid its synaptic process.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-05-02 21:30:40

The Castle Crashers Song is a metaphor for the mysteries of life. Like a distant star that we all see and want to know more about or visit. But in this case, it is all about the ears, what we think we hear. Is it just the mind playing tricks? Or the tricks playing minds? Why do these destroyed characters aspire to such music? What does it remind them of? Will they ever escape from their Filter Bubbles? Will the Cum Passes ever be renewed? With the needle in the Haystack be found? Will Karl ever reach lvl 50? Will the IBA and VGAD ever actually follow through with their rematch fight? Or are they just pawns in a game being played by other shadowy figures? Will the Simon da Motivator brothers ever all be reunited as one? Will the SCI-I and SCI-II ever be explained? Will we ever discover what caused a full-scale meltdown in Rome? Raymond Pist, the Psychotic Therapists, Spoons, TROT, Barry Burton, Karl, Bald-man, Laugh-man and the ubiquitous influence of TSAGIGOGAFH and the Antarctic Isles Incident. We are only just scratching the tip of the iceberg.

The long-awaited.. Which Castle Crashers Song Documentary. Coming soon...... In 2056.

Doomroar responds:

Get on the motherfucking HYPE TRAIN!!!
http://i.imgur.com/wFMStTW.gif


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-05-02 22:52:29

The Hyp.. odermic needle train. Training Provided:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_mJs4XlOKcmY/TJvvrbkTRnI/AAAAAAAABBg/66CyLWGIMj0/s1600/Hypodermic+Needles.jpg

Doomroar responds:

The Orbital Hyp... odermic needle Train!
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/e6a52508caac61a24669207597f86dc9

I finally found some decent needle stock images, oh and an actual orbital train, it was bound to happen.
Which means if i want to we could edit the Logo and have a better thing.


themightyCaolfthemightyCaolf

2015-05-03 02:25:12

Somethen funny happened. I looked at a picture by a guy called themightycelt, so I said that hey, we have erily similar names, and I rated the drawing 4 1/2 stars. Then I get a message that said my review was deleted.

Doomroar responds:

Maybe he realized that one of you were a clone of the other.
After entering a panic he decided to eliminate the message, and act as if nothing happened, deluding himself out of thinking about the possibility, the possibility that maybe he is the clone.

In short he deleted your message, but really you 2 have the similar name, similar porn style, and are both perverts, finding someone that similar is ought to be creepy. Regardless what he did is definitively rude.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-05-03 02:48:00

Mmm, an orbital train that circles the earth.

Shit just got deep!!

Doomroar responds:

We better use a bodysuit or we will get covered by all that deep shit.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-05-03 03:19:20

ASTDPY (a spacesuit that definitely protects you).

Doomroar responds:

Even from deep space shit!


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-05-03 05:24:27

It makes sense that the irresistible force paradox would take place in space onboard the Orbital Hypodermic Needle Train. Two brilliant scientists trying to outsmart each other, knowing that there could only be room for One Force in the Universe.

After The Great Cliff Fight, it was the IBA and PAD that took over the reins from A Midget Called Tom (later known as Ron) and Dr. Seuss Hobbs as the two opposing forces of the world. They vowed that one day they would meet again, but this time their battle would ensue on top of an Orbital Hypodermic Needle Train that was constantly whizzing around the Earth faster than the speed of light. A fight that would change everything...

Rumour has it that the SCI-I incident was caused by a cataclysmic space event. Quite possibly the irresistible force paradox being responsible for such a damaging Earthly event that wrecked so many lives in so many ways, disfigured and destroyed them, sent them all insane, left them wondering what the hell was going on.

But more importantly, always wondering where the bloody hell that music was coming from. That all too familiar song that was... all too unfamiliar!

Doomroar responds:

And thus a theory was born, a theory based on rumors and gossip, a theory seeking the defamation of not only Ron and Dr, Hobbs, but also of IBA and PAD.